Old Memories
by superwho-rhi
Summary: Sequel to "New Memories". Picks up where "New Memories" left off.
1. Chapter 1

As I round the corner, I come into contact with a solid mass. I quickly realize that the mass is Steve. "Oh, I'm sorry," I say, taking a step back.

He stares at me, like he always does, for a moment before smiling at me. "It's okay Charlotte." He says. "I should've been watching where I was going. It's good to see you out of bed."

I nod my head as I slightly rock back and forth on my crutches. Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho had told me it would do me some good to get out and walk around. So, I was hobbling my way around Avengers Tower with some crutches. "Yeah, it feels good to be up." I say timidly. I can't really explain it, but Steve intimidated me. It may have been the size or the research I had done on him. But honestly, it was just the idea of him. Dr. Banner had given me a brief recap of what had happened since I couldn't remember. He had also told me what I had meant to Steve. "Oh, you're in your uniform…" I hadn't noticed it at first.

"Yeah…" he says, looking down at himself. "Me and Barton- or uh, Clint, are going on a recon mission."

"Oh, okay," I say, nodding my head. An awkward silence fills the space between us. "Well…good luck, I guess."

"Thank you," he says. His face searches mine for a moment before he nods his head once and then walks past me.

I stand there until I can't hear the sound of his footsteps anymore. Letting out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding in, I adjust my crutches and start hobbling down the hallway again.

oOoOo

"It's called retrograde amnesia," Dr. Banner says. He flicks his hand in the air, spinning around a hologram version of my brain. There were parts of it lit up a different color than the rest of it, highlighting where the damage to my brain was. "It's the result of the multiple beatings you received-"

"When I was kidnapped," I finish for him. A couple days ago Bruce had told me everything that had happened to me. I still didn't remember it though. "Resulting in a traumatic brain injury which caused the memory loss…yeah, I figured that out."

"Well," he says, swiping his hand over the hologram and making it disappear. "It seems some stuff is coming back to you. That's good."

"But not everything," I grumble. "Dr. Ban- er, Bruce…please tell me my memories will come back. I don't remember anything." I had already been on this rant before. "I can't remember any family, any of my childhood, anybody…any of you guys…"

"Steve," Bruce says suddenly. I snap my head up to look at him. "You don't remember Steve."

I let out a sigh as I prop my casted arm on the table next to me. "I just can't handle the way he looks at me," I say.

"This is difficult for him as well," Bruce says.

"I know," I say. "I just…I almost feel guilty. Like I did something wrong."

"You know that you didn't," he says, sitting down on the stool in front of me. "And he knows you didn't either. This is just an adjustment for him. You two were very…close before."

I nod my head. I knew that we were close, I could practically see it in his eyes every time he looked at me. "Would hitting me over the head again help to bring the memories back?" I ask with a half-hearted laugh.

Bruce gives me a smile as he shakes his head. "You were always funny, in your way," he says. "Good to see you haven't lost that."

"The girl who couldn't forget anything suddenly can't remember anything," I say. "Sounds like a bad movie plot line."

"Just give it time," he says, sympathy all over his face as he looks at me. "Your memories could come back."

I just nod my head. I had done my own research and knew there was a very real chance they couldn't.

oOoOo

"Hey," I turn my head to see Natasha walking towards me. "What are you doing out here?"

On my exploration of the tower I had found this balcony and had taken up residence here for the past couple of hours. Combing through old stuff of mine and different testing with Bruce had left me feeling drained. Sitting here, watching the city down below, was oddly comforting. "I just needed some fresh air," I say as she sits down in a chair next to me. With minor difficulties I was able to drag a chair right to the railing of the balcony, to better see the city. "Better than being in a hospital bed." Natasha was also one that intimidated me; but with her it was just because of her reputation.

"Barton and Rogers just got back," she says. I nod my head, still looking out over the city. "How are you feeling?"

I arch an eyebrow as I turn my head to look at her. I didn't take her as one to really care about the well-being of others, let alone me. "I'm fine," I say. "Head hurts, but that's to be expected."

She nods her head, not looking at me. I watch her as she purses her lips slightly and then lets out a small sigh. "We were friends…well, sort of. We had this…weird relationship." She says.

"Really?" I ask, not totally believing her. I think it over a minute before conceding. "Well, I guess that explains why you were at my bedside when I woke up." For some reason, which I'd have to ask someone eventually, everyone's records were online. Natasha's was with them and it was…an interesting read.

"Have you talked to Rogers any?" she bluntly asks. That was her style though…she got right to the point.

I shake my head as I look away from her. "No," I say. "I just…I don't know what to say to him."

"You told me once," she says. "That when you first met him that you didn't know what to say to him."

My brows furrow together. "What did I do?"

The fabric of her jacket rustles as she shrugs her shoulder. "I'm not sure," she says. "But you eventually figured it out."

I let out a sigh as I grab my crutches laying on the ground next to me. "Alright," I say. "Where is he?"

oOoOo

As I hobble up to the doorway, through the small window I can see Steve's face. It was screwed up in frustration. When I stop in front of the door, it opens with a hiss, causing him to stop what he was doing and look up to see who was entering the room. His face lights up for a moment when he sees it's me, but then dims again. My eyes immediately go to his shoulder, where there was a large gash. "Are you trying to clean that yourself?"

He lets out a sigh as he lightly tosses a pad of gauze onto the little tray in front of him. "Yeah," he says. "I can usually get it, but it's at a weird angle and I'm not very good with my left hand so…"

"Here," I say, making my way over to him. "I think I know some first aide, let me see if I can help."

"It's okay," he says, shaking his head. "I can get it."

"Sit down," I say, pointing to the table behind him. He obliges with a sigh, sitting himself on the edge of the table. "Sorry for getting snippy," I say, leaning my crutches against the table next to him.

"It's okay," he says quietly. I reach across him and grab the supplies he had been using. As I start working, the steps for treating a wound come back to me. Not all at once, but little by little. I move on auto-pilot, not really thinking about what I was doing, just doing it.

An awkward silence fills the room as I work. I was desperately trying not to look up at Steve and I could tell he was doing the same. Finally, I clear my throat. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. I didn't really know why I had said it, but I felt like I should.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks. When his shoulder shifts slightly, I look up to see him looking at me.

"I just…" I say, suddenly at a loss for words. They were there, in my throat…but I couldn't get them to come out. "I just feel like I should."

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he says. After I place the last piece of tape on the bandage, I pull his shirt sleeve back down into place.

As I let out a sigh, I hoist myself up on the table to sit beside him. "I feel like I do," I say. I shake my head as I let my shoulders sag a little. "I don't know…there's just…I'm-"

"Hey," Steve cuts me off by placing a hand on my knee. "You don't have to apologize for anything. Do you understand me?" I nod my head as our eyes connect again. He really had beautiful eyes. "If anyone needs to apologize, it's me."

I can't help it, but a laugh escapes me. "I'm sorry," I say as the chuckle earns a confused look from him. "But no, you don't need to. I'm the one who forgot everything. And, from what Dr. Banner told me, it sounds like I was the idiot that wandered off and let myself get kidnapped."

Steve lets out a sigh as he looks away from me. "I shouldn't have ever even left you alone," he says.

"How did we meet?" I ask, trying to shift the subject.

"What?"

"Natasha said that the first time we met, that I said I didn't know what to say to you," I say. "So, how did we meet?"

Steve lets out a heavy sigh as he stands up from the table and starts to pace a little. After a moment's silence, he finally stops and looks at me. "Fury, who used to be the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., assigned you to help me assimilate to this time," he says, giving me a blank stare.

"Why would I help you?" I ask.

He shakes his head as he crosses his arms over his chest. "He thought you'd be best for the job," he says. There was something formal about his stance, almost like he was uncomfortable. I slide myself off the table and grab crutches before starting to head for the door. "Wait, where are you going-"

"I can't do this," I say, shaking my head as I head towards the door. "I just can't…"

"What do mean- Charlotte, we were just talking," Steve says, following behind me.

I walk out of the door and down the hall before answering him. "I can't talk with you. I don't know how to talk to-"

"Charlotte, you don't have-"

"I can't Steve," I say loudly, spinning around on my crutches to face him. He stops in his tracks and stares at me with a blank face. "Please…I just can't." He doesn't say anything as I spin on my crutches again and walk away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Time passes and about the only exciting thing that happens is that I get to lose the cast on my arm and leg, replacing them with a walking boot and a splint. No memories return to me, at least no major ones. Tony seems to think that if I see something from my past, it'll spark my memories to return…that's yet to happen though. A couple things come back to me, but none of any importance; a memory of me playing on a merry-go-round as a child…walking through Central Park as a teenager…being carried through some snowy woods.

After our incident in the medical room, Steve pretty much steers clear of me. I grant him the same curtesy, trying my best to avoid him. Natasha doesn't approve of it. "If you don't talk with him, nothing will come back to you," she says to me for what seemed like the millionth time. I roll my eyes as I take a drink of my water. "Don't roll your eyes at me, you know I'm right."

"Actually," I snap back at her. "Dr. Cho says that there is no correlation between that."

Natasha doesn't say anything, just purses her lips before turning her attention back to her tablet. "Well…she doesn't know you like I do," she says. "And I say that talking to Steve will help you."

"Yeah," I say, standing up from my stool. "Kind of hard to do that when he's avoiding me." She doesn't say anything as I walk out of the lab.

oOoOo

My evasion plan of Steve lasts all of a month. When I'm finally face to face with him again, it's two months after my "accident", as I refer to it, and it's the middle of the night. "Oh," I say, coming to a stop at the entrance to the small kitchen. I say small, but it was probably actually the size of a normal kitchen in the average household. But, apparently there was one on each floor, along with a massive one hidden somewhere in the tower. The cause for my stop, Steve, looks up at me as if he was startled. "Sorry," I say, subconsciously wrapping my robe around me tighter. "I didn't know anyone was in here."

He stares at me for a moment and then shakes his head. "It's alright," he says. He grabs the bowl in front of him as he starts to stand. "I can leave-"

"No," I say, holding up a hand. He stops mid-rise, still giving me a cautious look. "I don't want to run you out of here. Stay. I won't take too long."

Steve nods his head as I enter the kitchen and the awkwardness immediately starts to fill the room. I move around the kitchen, finding the stuff to make myself a cup of tea. "So," Steve says with a clearing of his throat. "Having trouble sleeping?"

I glance back over my shoulder at him as I set the kettle on a burner. "Yeah, you could say that" I say. He continues to look at me, as if wanting further explanation but not wanting to ask for it. "Um," I hum, leaning back against a counter and trying to wrap my robe around me tighter again. "Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I'll have these random dreams and they'll feel like memories almost. So, I'll go ask Natasha if it's real or not, she never seems to sleep. But, I can't find her. So I decided to make some tea instead, since I was up anyways." I don't know why I was rambling, but I suddenly felt antsy.

Steve nods his head as he looks down at his bowl, which appears to hold a little cereal. "Some of your memories are coming back?" he asks.

Ah, this is why I was feeling antsy. "Um, yeah," I say. "Just random ones though, nothing major."

A quietness fills the room again until Steve finally looks at me again. "What was it tonight? Maybe I can help," he offers.

I open my mouth and then shut it again as the kettle next to me starts to whistle. "Well," I say, focusing on making my tea. _Go ahead and talk to him,_ a little voice in my head whispers to me. "I'm standing outside of this room, but it's inside of another room, a really big room. There's a lot of shouting," I tell him. With my now finished tea in hand, I turn back to face him, sitting on a stool across the island from him. His bowl is empty now, pushed to the side, and his hands folded on the counter in front of him. He had a cautious look on his face, like he was calculating every move. After I take a sip of my tea, I continue on. "There's shouting, some men dressed in black and holding guns run into the smaller room, and then the next thing I know, I'm getting hit in the head with something. That's when I woke up." Steve shakes his head as a smile ghosts across his face. "What? Did that not happen? Cause sometimes these dreams are actually just-"

"No," Steve says quickly, sobering up once again. "That actually happened. It was, uh, it was actually the first time you met me." My hands tighten around the mug as he recounts that entire first day that we met. I hadn't expected him to recount the entire day, but it was nice. No one else really knew about it, but apparently Steve remembered everything, even what I was wearing.

"Wow," I say, nodding my head once he finishes. "You had an eventful first day, didn't you?"

"I did," he agrees. "But you helped, a lot."

I stare at him for a moment until something dawns on me. "Oh holy crap," I say, covering my eyes with my hand.

"What?" Steve says quickly. "What's wrong?"

Uncovering my eyes, I see that's he's looking at me with an almost frantic look. "I'm fine, I promise," I say. "I just realized something," he continues to look at me, waiting for me to continue. "When you came out of the ice, I knew just about everything about, right?" Steve nods his head. "But you really had no clue what had happened…sound familiar?"

It takes him a moment, but he finally catches up with me. "And when you woke up, you had no clue what happened to you, but yet I know just about everything about you," he finishes my thought.

"The world has a really sick sense of humor…doesn't it?" I say, shaking my head and looking away from him. My emotions start to get the best of me and tears start to fill my eyes. I try to dash them away before Steve can notice, but I don't succeed.

"I think more may be coming back to you than you realize," he says. I ask him what he means as I grab a nearby napkin to wipe at my eyes. "Before, when you were uncomfortable, you would always try and wrap your jacket or sweater or robe around you tighter. Or if you weren't wearing one, you'd wrap your arms around yourself. I notice you do that when you're around me."

"Steve, I-"

"No, it's okay," he says, waving a hand in front of him to dismiss me. "I understand why." He pauses, as if calculating his words again. "I still love you Charlotte, always have and always will. But, I know right now that you don't feel the same about me because you can't remember that. I admit, it's hard for me to remember it, every time I see you, I'm reminded of that fact. I want, so badly, to do whatever I can to help fix that. But, at the same time, I know I make you uncomfortable so-"

"You just intimidate me," I blurt out. His face goes stony once again. "I know, all that stuff you just told me and it intimidates me…so badly. It also scares me. I'm afraid that I'm never going to live up to the Charlotte that you used to know." I duck my head as I fresh round of tears start to spill over.

I vaguely hear the scrap of wood on wood and then feel Steve's hand lightly rest on my back. "Hey, Charlotte, please don't cry," he says. His hand starts to move in a circle on my back and it has an instant calming effect on me. "Hey," he says again. I sniff a little as I look up at him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I know this is just as hard, if not harder, for you too. I'm sorry."

"This is just a crappy situation all around," I say, shaking my head and wiping at my eyes again. Steve lets out a sigh as he sits down on the stool next to me. We look each other in the eye as he moves his hand from my back to the counter in front of us. "What should we do now?"

"Well," he says, "When it was me, you always said, 'it's all about making you comfortable'. So, same goes for you. What would make you comfortable?"

I look at him for another moment before looking down at his hand. Letting myself move on auto-pilot, I take one of my hands and let it come to rest on top of his. His hand was warm and soft, it felt nice. He kept it still, not moving it as he continued to watch me. I look back up at him and give him a small smile. "Tell me a story," I say.

oOoOo _-Steve's Point of View-_ oOoOo

" _Okay, I admit, that movie did turn out to be pretty good," I say as the credits of the movie start to roll. Charlotte had forced me to watch Elf. I had been able to dodge it for a while, the movie just seemed childish, but she finally trapped me and made me watch it._

" _See," she says, playfully shoving at my shoulder. "I told you! I told you! I told you!"_

 _I laugh again as she turns on the couch to face me, wrapping her legs underneath herself. "You think by now I'd stop doubting your movie picking skills." I say._

" _Exactly," she says, her eyes sparkling from the reflections of the lights on the nearby Christmas tree. "I have yet to steer you wrong. Just start doubting me if I ever make you watch Twilight."_

" _What's that?" That movie actually sounded kind of interesting._

" _A bad mistake when I was feeling extremely single, desperate, and going through a random goth phase," she says. I start to ask her more about it until she starts to get up. "Stay right there, don't move." She orders as she walks around the back of the couch and then disappearing down the hallway leading towards her bedroom. I wait not-so-patiently on the couch until I finally hear her bare feet pad against the floor._

" _What are you doing?" I say, giving her a deadpan look as she sits down on the couch with a brightly wrapped present in her hands. "We're doing gifts tomorrow."_

" _I know, I know," she says. "But this isn't a Christmas gift, it's a Christmas Eve gift. I decided that once I got it. So I am not breaking any rules."_

 _I let out a sigh as she holds out the gift towards me. "It's impossible to stay aggravated at you; you know that, right?" she just smiles at me as I take the gift from her. Pulling the bow and paper off the box, I look at her, to see her beaming at me. That smile could be gift enough for me. Inside the small box, I see…_

oOoOo

"Your dog tags," I say suddenly, cutting off Steve's story. I don't know where the thought came from, but I remembered what was in that box. Steve just stares at me, zero emotion on his face. "I gave you your dog tags, the ones you had before your change."

"Yeah," Steve says quietly. "Do you-"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I don't remember it. I just- it's weird to explain. I have this image of you sitting on a couch, holding the dog tags in your hand."

Steve's eyes flutter shut for a moment before he opens them again to look at me. "I still keep those with me," he says. "Where ever I go."

I give him a small smile as I move my hand off of his. "Thank you," I say. "For the story."

"You're welcome," he says, returning the smile. "Charlotte, I know I said that this is hard for me, but it's harder not talking to you."

Looking down at my now cold, half drank cup of tea, I let out a sigh. "I know," I say. "I'm sorry. I'm…" I let out another sigh, that's more of a frustrated huff. "No one seems to know what to do with me, heck…I don't even know what to do. And, whatever I'm doing doesn't seem to be working. So…strategy change." He gives me a questioning look as I sit up straighter, trying my hardest to not look uncomfortable. From what I had heard about myself, I wasn't one to back down from a challenge. That's what this was, a challenge. "You probably know the most about me out of anyone-"

"True-"

"Don't interrupt, I'm on a roll," I say, holding up a finger. He gives me a sheepish smile as he closes his mouth, giving me a look to continue. "How about, once a week, when you aren't out saving the world, we talk. You and me will have lunch, or coffee, or…I don't know, tea and cereal." A chuckle rumbles in Steve's chest as he smiles at me. "You're a good guy Steve…I don't want to hurt you anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

"Dr. Litz?" JARVIS' cool voice pulls me away from my book. "Captain Rogers and the others are back. He requested that I tell you he'll meet you on the main gallery balcony in twenty minutes."

"Okay," I say, shutting the book and pushing myself to the edge of my bed. "Thank you JARVIS."

oOoOo

"Hello," Steve's voice greets me. I look over my shoulder to see him standing in the doorway leading out the balcony. His hands were behind his back, holding something in them. I smile at him, returning the greeting. We had been having these meet-ups for about a month now. All of my broken bones and bruising from my "accident" were gone. As Natasha put it, _"You almost look normal…little skinnier, but normal."_

"What's that behind your back?" I ask him.

He gives me another smile as he starts to walk towards me. One bonus of our weekly, now twice weekly meetings, was that he was smiling more; even when we weren't together. I liked it; something about his smile made my soul happy. "I got you a present." I purse my lips at him as he sits down on the end of the chaise lounge I was sitting on. "Hey now," he says, pointing a finger at me. "None of that. I know you don't like presents…but you'll just have to deal with it."

I just shake my head as a laugh bubbles off my lips. "Oh just give it here," I say, holding out my hand. He hands me a medium sized grey box, a single purple bow on it.

"Pepper had to help me find it," he says as I start to take the ribbon and bow off the box. "It wasn't easy to find."

"Well, it must have some sort of sentimental value then," I say, as I pop the tape on the box. Me and Steve smile at each other as I finally lift the lid. At first, I think nothing of the forest green fabric with little white and yellow flowers dotting it, but when I lift it out of the box the memories hit me so suddenly, I actually drop the dress.

"Charlotte?" Steve says, placing a hand between my shoulder blades. "Hey what's wrong?" I can't see him though, I feel myself doubling over, all I see is blood, walls coming at me, fists hitting me, a blonde woman laughing sadistically at me, the nightmare of the time I spent with Konig and Lana coming back to me like a wrecking ball. When I open my eyes, I'm inside, laying on one of the tables in the lab. Bruce and Steve were hovering over me, talking to each other. "I don't know, I gave her the dress and she just doubled over-"

"Charlotte," Bruce says, noticing that I was looking at them. "Hey, can you tell us what happened?"

Steve and him look down at me as I nod my head, my eyes wide open. "Um," I say with a swallow. "The um…when Konig and Lana took me, I um- they came back, I remember."

"Your memories?" Bruce clarifies; I nod my head as I hold out a hand. Steve takes it and helps me sit up on the table, hanging my legs off the side. "Did anything else come back?"

"No," I say, pulling my hand out of Steve's. "Just…that."

"And you said it happened after she saw the dress?" Bruce asks Steve. Steve nods his head as he takes a step back from me. His eyes advert my gaze. "What was the correlation between the dress and-"

"It was the dress I was wearing when Lana took me in the park," I answer. I pause for a moment, thinking Steve was going to say something, but instead he turns and walks out of the lab. "Um-" I push a lock of my hair back behind my ear with a shaking hand. I didn't like that he had left. "It was my favorite dress…I think that's why he gave it to me."

"Despite the pain that these memories caused you," Bruce says, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "This is a good sign."

"I know," I say, nodding my head. "I just…I don't want him to think this is his fault." I knew how absurd it was, but my main concern at that moment was for Steve.

"I understand," Bruce says, giving me a warm smile. "If you don't mind, I'd like to run some scans on you. Dr. Cho would like to know about this as well." I nod my head as I slide myself off the table. "Then you can go talk to him."

oOoOo

I timidly knock on the door three times. I wait, what feels like an eternity, until Steve finally opens the door to his bedroom. The smile in his eyes from earlier was gone. The cold, hard look from months ago was back. He doesn't say anything at first, just stares at me. "I'm not upset with you," I blurt out. His face remains blank. "Can I come in?" He looks at me, as if debating it, before finally stepping to the side and letting me come in. I step into the room and wander into the middle of it as I hear the door shut behind me. A few minutes pass as neither of us says anything. "Will you please say something?" I finally spit at him.

"What can I say, Charlotte?" he fires back at me. "There's nothing to say-"

"We accomplished what we've been trying to for months now!" I yell at him.

"But at what cost?" he says back. His voice was more controlled than mine, but I could still tell he was angry. "Huh? Do you really think I wanted you to have those memories back? Do you really think I wanted to cause that-"

"I know you didn't Steve," I say, my own voice more controlled that time. "But we have to take what we can get. This is a good-"

"Nothing about you being in pain is a good thing," he snaps back.

"I can't pick and choose what comes back!" I say. "The fact that anything has come back, this long after the…you know…is astounding! Yeah, I hate that it was _those_ memories. But-"

"There's no 'but' about this, Charlotte," he says. "I caused you-"

"Oh my gosh," I say loudly, throwing my hands in the air. "I swear if you say that one more time, I will go berserk. Me, getting this memory back is a good sign. You, did what you said you'd help me do. End of story."

"I-"

"No," I say, holding a finger up. "Don't say it. The only thing-"

"Excuse me, Dr. Litz, I'm sorry for the interruption." JARVIS' voice says overhead. "But I have a message for Captain Rogers."

"What is it JARVIS?" Steve says, giving me an exasperated look.

"Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark think they have located Loki's scepter. They wanted me to let you know the team will be leaving in ten minutes."

"Thank you JARVIS," Steve says. He turns his attention back to me. "This conversation isn't finished."

"That's what you think," I say, starting to walk towards the door. Steve begins to open it, but I push it shut again. "Hey," I say, looking up at Steve. Suddenly, my stomach was in knots at the thought of him going out on a mission. "Be careful, okay?"

Steve's gaze softens as he reaches a hand up and runs his fingers through my hair. He holds the side of my head in his hand and for the briefest of moments, I think he's going to kiss me. "I will," he says softly as he releases my head.

oOoOo

As I walk into the room, the first thing I see is Clint Barton laying in an electronic bed of some sort. "Well hey there Litz," he says once he sees me. "Come to bring me flowers on my sick bed?"

"Not quite," I say with a laugh. "I actually came to talk to Dr. Cho." The team had just gotten back from recovering Loki's scepter. Clint was the unlucky one, getting hurt during the mission.

"Aw, now see, old Litz would have brought me flowers…and chocolate chip cookies." He says, giving me a smile. I just shake my head and laugh at him…I knew he was just messing with me.

"So, you're feeling good now," Dr. Cho asks me, messing with some display screen on the bed Clint was laying in. "Dr. Banner told me about the memories of your kidnapping coming back."

"Yes, physically, I feel fine," I say. "I do still get headaches every now and then if I start trying to remember something, but they go away quickly. Now, I'm just trying to deal with this new set of memories. They're pretty…"

"Intense?" Clint finishes for me.

I nod my head. "That is to be expected," Dr. Cho says. "A therapist may be beneficial."

"No thank you," I say, shaking my head. "I'll be fine."

Natasha Romanov greets me as she walks into the room. "So, you're sure he's going to be okay?" she says to Dr. Cho. "Pretending to need this guy is what brings the team together."

"There's no possibility of deterioration." Dr. Cho answers her. "The nano-molecular functionality is instantaneous. His cells don't know they're bonding with simulacrum."

"She is creating tissue." Dr. Banner says as he walks into the lab.

"If you brought him to my lab, the regeneration cradle could do this in twenty minutes." Dr. Cho says.

Natasha starts to say something, but is cut off by Tony walking into the room. I glance out the large window behind me to see Steve and Thor walking across the large lab down below. The knots that had settled in my stomach the past day finally ease up when I see Steve. "Oh, he's flat lining. Call it. Time?" Tony quips.

"No, no, no. I'm going to live forever." Clint says, waving a hand at Tony. "I'm gonna be made of plastic."

"Here's your beverage." Tony says to him, handing him a thick, green drink.

"You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton." Dr. Cho tells him. "Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference."

"Well, I don't have a girlfriend." Clint says. He wasn't lying. Early on in my recovery, I had a strange memory of talking to Clint about his wife and a house out in the country. When I asked him about it, he told me it was true, that only him, I, Natasha, and Fury knew about it. That was one memory I didn't tell anyone about coming back.

"That I can't fix." Dr. Cho says, letting out a quiet laugh. "This is the next thing, Tony. Your clunky metal suits are going to be left in the dust."

"Well, that is exactly the plan." Tony says begrudgingly. "And Helen, I expect to see you at the party on Saturday."

"Unlike you, I don't have a lot of time for parties." She says, giving Tony a polite smile. I see her hand hover a moment over her tablet before she looks back up at Tony. "Will Thor be there?" she asks timidly.

I shake my head, laughing a little. "Dr. Cho, I'll catch up with you later," I give her a wave as I walk out of the room. I start to head to where I think Steve will be, until I feel a hand grab the back of my arm, pulling me in the total opposite direction. "What the- Natasha?"

"You are coming with me," she says.

"What for?" I say, wiggling my arm out of her grasp.

"The party on Saturday," she says.

"What about the party-"

"You are going and-"

"Planned on it-"

"And I am going to make sure you look hot," she says. When we reach the elevator, she pushes the down button. I let out a groan, wondering what type of hell this was going to be.


	4. Chapter 4

I stare at myself in the long mirror, gazing at the dress that Natasha had picked out for me. It was a marathon, shopping with Natasha. We were only gone about three hours…but it felt like three days. We finally settled on a royal blue tailored dress. It fit me perfectly, a slender black belt at the waist, a draped neckline, modified cap sleeves. _"Are you sure this is okay?"_ I had asked Natasha. It was very fitted, but as I said, it did look very good on me. Letting out a sigh, I turn away from the mirror and head for the door. I had a feeling if I didn't get down to the party soon that Natasha would come after me.

The sounds of the party grow louder as I near it. Finally, I reach the top of the staircase that overlooks the party below. There were a ton of people gathered below and on the level opposite of the one I was on. I didn't recognize most of them. Down below, I spot Natasha at the bar. She immediately spots me as well and motions for me to join her. Once I make my way down to the bar, she immediately starts making me some kind of drink. "Think it's wise for me to be drinking with a recovering traumatic brain injury?"

"You're months out of that," she says with an eye roll. "Besides, I think you're going to need some liquid courage for tonight."

I take the martini glass as she slides it towards me. "Ah yes," I say, nodding my head. "Tonight is the night that Steve sees me all dressed up pretty and my memories magically re-"

"Glad to see you've got your smartass-ness back," she mumbles. "Either way, you are talking to him tonight."

I take a sip of the drink as I roll my eyes at her. "Yes, ma'am."

oOoOo

"So, we never finished that conversation from the other day," I say, walking up to Steve. As he turns around, his eye pop out just a little before his finally settles back to normal. I tell Sam hello before turning my attention back to Steve. "Can we…?" I point over to a section of the room where no one was at. Steve nods his head before we both walk over to the corner of the room. "You've been avoiding me again," I say quietly.

"I know," Steve says, looking down at his glass. He downs the rest of the brown liquid inside of it before continuing. "I just-"

"After we first started dating, the first time you went on a mission I cried," I cut him off. His jaw clenches as he looks at me. "I cried like a baby, that entire weekend. I cried and watched every single movie from the 1940's that I owned and I ate three pints of ice cream along with four pizzas…by myself. And when I heard you were on your way back, I cleaned up, got rid of the evidence and fixed you supper." Steve continues to stare at me, his breathing a little heavier. "The um…I remembered that, as I watched you all leave the other day."

"I didn't know that," Steve says.

"I get why you were upset about me getting those memories back. It's because of the way you feel about me," I take a deep breath, desperately thankful for those two shots Natasha had made me take. "When you left for this last mission, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't understand why. We were becoming friends again, yes…but…once that memory came back I felt-" I shake my head, trying not to look Steve directly in the face. After a moment though, I lock eyes with him. "I can't say, what I'm trying to say…"

"Then just say what you can," he says quietly. I could tell he could tell what I was trying to say.

"I just…" I reach a hand up, letting come to rest on his cheek. He lets out a breath and relaxes into my hand a little. "I'm just…I'm not as intimidated by you."

Steve gives me a small smile as I drop my hand from his face. "Okay," he says, nodding his head. "I can work with that."

I return his smile as I slip my hand into his and we rejoin the party. Holding his hand like this was the first time we had ever made any sort of contact like that since my "accident". It felt nice, it felt natural. Luckily, it seemed that Steve was able to pick up on what I was thinking. I didn't want to have to say out loud that I thought I might be falling for him again…or if I was just remembering being in love with him. It was a complicated feeling. I liked it and it made me feel good, but I wanted to be sure it was genuine. The party ebbs and flows, throughout the night. I re-met tons of people, most of who already knew about my "condition" as Tony referred to it. I actually found the term funny. _"I like this new Charlotte,"_ Tony had said, draping an arm over my shoulder and handing me a drink he had grabbed from a passing waiter. _"She actually likes me…doesn't find me annoying like the last one did."_

Eventually, the party fades out and the only people left are myself, Dr. Cho, Maria, James Rhodes and the Avengers. "It's a party trick," Clint exclaims, pointing a drumstick at Mjӧlnir. I wasn't totally clear on where he got the drumstick from, but I didn't pay it much mind as I laugh with the rest of the group.

"Oh, no," Thor says, laughing with the group as well. "It's much more than that."

"Uh, 'Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!'" Clint says, giving a poor impression of Thor. He earns a few more chuckles from the group. "Whatever man! It's a trick."

The Asgardian god shakes his head as he starts to lift his drink to his lips. "Well please, be my guest."

The group jests Clint as he stares at Thor. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Thor exclaims as Clint stands up.

"Oh this is going to be beautiful," James says.

Clint walks around the table in the middle of the group until he's standing in front of the hammer. "Clint," Tony says to the agent. "You've had a tough week; we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up."

Everyone laughs again as Clint grabs onto the handle. "You know I've seen this before, right?" We all watch as Clint's grip tightens on the hammer, but doesn't even budge. "And I still don't know how you do it."

"Smell the silent judgement?" Tony quips to Clint.

"Please, Stark, by all means," Clint says, holding a hand out towards the hammer.

"Oh here we go," Natasha says as Tony stands up in front of the hammer.

Everyone says something about Tony trying the hammer. He, also, is unsuccessful. After his first failed attempt, he tries to lift it with his Iron Man arm, but still fails. James even gets his suits arm and tries to lift it along with Tony. Bruce tries his luck, but is unsuccessful. After his attempt, he momentarily acts as if he's getting ready to change into the Hulk, I'm the only one who laughs at the joke.

"Alright, you're next," I say, hitting Steve lightly on the knee. He gives me a small smile before standing up and walking over to the hammer. When he pulls up on it, I swear I see it budge a little bit.

"Nothing," Thor says with a nervous laugh.

Steve just shakes his head in earnest defeat as he sits back down next to me. I wrap his jacket he had given me earlier, once it got chilly, a little tighter around my shoulders. "It moved a little," I whisper to him as the group tries to get Natasha to try her hand. Steve just raises an eyebrow at me. "I swear it did."

"All deference to the man who wouldn't be king," Tony says. "But it's rigged."

"You bet your ass it is," Clint says.

"Steve, he said a bad language word," Maria says before taking a drink of her beer.

Steve looks over at Tony with a deadpan look. "Did you tell everyone about that?"

"The handle's imprinted, right?" Tony says, ignoring Steve's comment. "Like a security code. 'Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints' is, I think, the literal translation?"

"Yes well that's, us, that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one." Thor says. In one fell swoop, he stands, grabs the hammer, and throws it in the air into to a spin to catch it again. "You're all not worthy."

The group starts to speak up again until an ear-splitting sound rings out through the room. My hands instinctively fly up my ears, as does everyone else's. "Worthy…" a robotic voice says. Everyone's attention is drawn to the edge of the room, coming from the lab entrance. Everyone stands to look at the tall robot wobbling around, Steve stepping slightly in front of me. "How could you be worthy? You're all killers."

"Stark," Steve says quietly.

Tony whips a phone out of his pocket, tapping on it. "JARVIS?"

"I'm sorry," the robot says, looking down at its own hand. "I was asleep. Or…I was a dream?"

Tony continues to tap his device, JARVIS still not responding. "Reboot, Legionnaire, we got a bogey suit."

"There was a terrible noise," the robot says, moving his head around, but not really looking at anything. My hand moves up to grab the back of Steve's arm. Something about this robot did not sit right with me. "And I was tangled in…in…strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy."

"You killed someone?" Steve says to the robot. My grip on his arm becomes tighter.

"Wouldn't have been my first call," the robot says, almost blasé. "But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices."

"Who sent you?" Thor yells.

The robot presses something between his fingers, but the voice that comes from him is Tony's "'I see a suit of armor around the world'."

"Ultron," Bruce says, amazement almost in his voice.

Everyone looks at Bruce and Tony until Ultron speaks up again. "In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this…chrysalis." He motions to the falling-apart suit he had acquired. "But I'm ready. I'm on a mission."

"What mission?" Natasha asks.

Ultron looks directly at Natasha to give his answer. "Peace in our time." After he answers, all hell breaks loose. More bots come bursting through the walls behind him.

Steve suddenly kicks up the table, blocking the blasts from the bots heading towards us. Everyone separates, fighting and defending themselves. I had hit the deck, along with Dr. Cho. We grab each other's hands, trying to stay low and keep ourselves safe. When I look up, I see Steve is nowhere near me. "Come on!" I say to Helen. She nods her head as she follows behind me, each of us holding onto the other like our lives depending on it. We eventually find shelter behind a piano. The bots seemed to be staying away from that area. The space around us is filled with gun fire and the team yelling. I hear Dr. Cho let out a gasp. Following her line of sight, I see a half a bot aiming at her. It stops, lowers its hand a little, as if deciding against it and then turns and aims for me. Suddenly, Steve appears behind it and grabs it, throwing it away from us. "Cap!" Clint yells from somewhere in the room. Steve's shield lands in his hands, but only for a moment until he throws it, slicing the last bot in half.

"That was dramatic! I'm sorry, I know you mean well." Ultron says, still wobbling as in the same spot as before. "You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to...evolve?" He reaches down and grabs one of the busted-up bots, crushing its head in his hands and throwing it to the side again. "With these? These puppets? There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction." Thor throws his hammer, killing the bot housing Ultron. "I had strings, but now I'm free." Ultron's creepy voice rings as it fades out.

I stand up from behind the piano along with Dr. Cho. At the same moment, Steve looks back at me. "You okay?" he asks me. I nod my head, walking over to him. Once I reach him, he immediately grabs me and wraps me in his arms, hugging me to his chest.

oOoOo

After confirming everyone was okay, we all gather in the lab, except Thor who had flown away to see if he could follow the bot that had taken Loki's scepter's trail. "All our work is gone." Bruce says, looking at a computer screen in front of him. "Ultron cleared out, used the internet as an escape hatch.

"He's been in everything," Natasha says, also looking at a screen. "Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other."

"Nuclear codes," Maria says.

"Nuclear codes," James repeats, shaking his head. "Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can."

"Nukes?" Natasha says, arching an eyebrow. "He said he wanted us dead."

"He didn't say dead," Steve says. I could tell just by looking at him that he was angry. "He said extinct."

"He also said he killed somebody." Clint says.

"But there wasn't anyone else in the building," Maria says.

"Yes there was," Tony says. We all look to him as his arms sweep through the air, bring up a 3D image. It looked broken, damaged. He had shown it to me before, when he was explaining the Tower…it was JARVIS.

"This is insane," Bruce says, walking around the image, looking at it.

"JARVIS was the first line of defense," Steve says. "He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense."

"No, Ultron could've assimilated JARVIS," Bruce says, still looking at the image. "This isn't strategy; this is…rage."

Suddenly, Thor comes flying back into the lab, immediately grabbing Tony by his throat and lifting him into the air.

"Woah!" Clint exclaims. Everyone shifts some, but isn't sure what to do. "It's going around."

"Come on," Tony says in a strangled voice, hitting Thor on the arm. "Use your words buddy."

"I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark," Thor says, glaring up at Tony.

"Thor!" Steve barks, finally diverting the Asgardian's attention away from Tony. "The Legionnaire?"

Thor drops Tony as he turns to address the rest of the group. "Trail went cold about a hundred miles out, but its headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it…again."

"The genies out of that bottle," Natasha says. "Clear and present is Ultron."

"I don't understand," Dr. Cho speaks up. I had almost forgotten she was there. "You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?"

The last thing I expect to happen, happens. Tony starts to laugh. "You think this is funny?" Thor says, taking a menacing step towards him.

"No," Tony says, trying to sober himself up. "It's probably not, right? Is this very terrible? Is it so…is it so…it is. It's so terrible."

"This could've been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand." Thor says to him.

The group continues fighting amongst themselves as I start to tune them out. It wasn't intentional, it actually happened a lot. When it happened, that usually meant a memory was getting ready to resurface. One does, but it doesn't seem like a memory. I shut my eyes to fully absorb it. I see myself and Steve dancing around an apartment, a song playing softly in the background. The song struck some kind of chord with me…I couldn't describe it. _Till then, my darling, please wait for me; Till then, no matter when it will be…_

"We're the Avengers," Tony's voice snaps me back to reality. No one had noticed me zone out. "We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's…that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?"

No one answers right away. "Together," Steve says simply.

"We'll lose," Tony says, looking at him.

"Then we'll do that together, too," Steve says. Tony looks at him for a moment before shaking his head and turning away. "Thor's right. Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller."

Everyone moves around the room, starting work on some sort of computer. I continue to stand off to the side, hugging Steve's jacket to myself tighter. Steve spots me still standing there and walks over to me. "I think this is the time where I become totally useless." Steve doesn't say anything, just gives me a weak smile. "I think…I think I'll just head up and get some sleep."

He nods his head. "Alright," he says. "If anything changes, I'll come get you, okay?" I nod my head at him, reaching down to give his hand a brief squeeze. He returns it before I turn and leave the lab.

oOoOo

The next afternoon, when I walk into the lab, everyone is buzzing around. "What's going on?" I ask Bruce, the only one standing still.

"Oh," he says, noticing me standing beside him. "We're, um, we're getting ready to leave. We found someone who might know something."

I nod my head as I spot Steve pass by the table I was standing at with Bruce. I move to follow him to talk to him, but Clint stops me, pulling me down a dark hallway a little way. "Banner tell you we're heading out?" I nod my head. "Alright, what would you think of going to a safe house?"

"A safe house?" I ask to clarify. He nods his head back at me. "Well," I mull the idea over. "I might…I don't know. I guess I'd feel better at one. Since you all aren't going to be here."

"Yeah, and I have this sneaking suspicion we aren't going to be able to come back," he says. I raise an eyebrow at him, silently asking for an explanation. "Ultron has been all through here. I bet Hill is cutting out too once we're clear."

"Oh, okay," I say. "Well, I guess you have somewhere in mind?"

"I do," he says. "Remember that house you remembered that only you, I, Nat, and Fury know about?"

"Really?" I say. "You want me to go there?"

"Yeah," he says. "I think that'd be best, don't you?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Have you talked to Steve about this?" I ask. "I have a feeling he'd have an-"

"I mentioned it," he says. "He was okay with it." Clint reaches into a pocket of his suit, producing a wad of cash. "Here, once we're gone head down to the car rental place two blocks over. Get a set of wheels and head out there. Okay?"

oOoOo

"You know," I say, walking up behind Steve who was doing something with his shield. He turns out to look at me quickly. "The only bad thing about…not being as intimidated by you is that now I'm a nervous wreck before you leave. Especially this time."

Steve gives me a half smile as he leans against the edge of the table behind him. "Well, that just gives me extra incentive to come back. Now doesn't it?"

"I have to ask you," I say. Without even thinking about it, both of our hands come together between us, holding onto one another. "I remembered this song after the attack… _Till then,_ I think it's called. Does that mean anything to…us?"

"Us?" Steve says, his smile growing a little more. He obviously liked that term when used in that context. "Yeah, it did. It would, um…it would calm you down when I left on missions."

"Ah," I say, nodding my head. "Guess you heard Clint has me going to a safe house?"

"Yes," he sighs, the smile fading. "You're okay with that?"

"I am," I say, giving his hand a squeeze. "Are you?"

Steve's eyes shut as he gently squeezes my hand back. "I will be," he says as he opens his eyes. "I'm going to end this and then…" I wait for him to continue, just looking into his eyes. "Maybe…maybe we can go away for a while, just the two of us. If you'd like that."

A smile grows on my face at the thought. I let my body move on auto-pilot again and step closer to him. He watches me as my face moves nearer to his before diverting to the right a little and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. "I'd like that." I say after I'm standing up straight again. Steve doesn't say anything, just smiles at me before standing up and pulling me into his arms, holding me against his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

I lift my sunglasses to the top of my head as I peered out the front windshield of my car. It was the farmhouse from my memory. It felt weird being here though. I didn't know if I had ever actually met Laura. Clint had told me she knew me and knew I was coming. I slowly get out of the car and then grab my bag out of the backseat. As I make my way up the front porch steps, the door opens, revealing a pretty woman with long, brown hair and a very pregnant belly. "Charlotte?" she asks. I nod my head at her as I reach the top step. Her tone was one of recognition, maybe I had met her before. "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm-"

"Laura, right?" I say. She nods her head also, giving me a smile. "I…I kind of remember you. Not totally, but some."

"Good," she says. "Well, come on in." I follow her into the house. We stop briefly by the entryway to the living area where she quickly introduces me to her two children. I drop my bag at the bottom of the stairs, per Laura's orders. "You must be hungry," she says as we walk through the dining room to the kitchen. "I'll fix you a sandwich and then you should get some rest. Driving all that way by yourself…you must be exhausted."

"I am…and a sandwich sounds lovely, thank you," she gives me a brief smile before turning and grabbing some stuff out of the refrigerator. I fight sleep as she makes me a sandwich and then thank her once she hands me the plate. "I'm glad I remembered this place. I don't think I could've handled staying at the Tower while they were gone…where ever they are."

"You still worry out here," she says, sitting down across from me. "You'll always worry, no matter where you are. But, it helps when you have someone to worry with you."

"That probably will help," I say with a small laugh. We both wince as we hear a crash and then a chorus of laughter from the living room. "Plus having them to distract you will help."

oOoOo

The sound of heavy boots is what wakes me from my nap. It's on the floor below and there's some voices too. I walk over to the window, immediately spotting the black jet against the blue and green landscape. I slide my shoes back on before heading out of the bedroom and out into the hallway. As I walk down the stairs, Steve comes in through the front door. "Steve," I say, capturing his attention.

His head snaps up as he looks up at me. A troubled look was on his face, but when he sees me the look leaves his face and is replaced with a mixture of relief and surprise. "Charlotte?" he says. "What are you doing here? Is this…is this the safe house you went to? I'm not just see-"

"Yeah," I say finishing my descent down the stairs. "I knew about this place…before. So Clint sent me here."

Steve nods his head. "There was…um, we hit a little-"

"You don't have to," I say, holding up a hand to him. "You don't have to explain, it's okay." There was something in Steve's eyes that looked off, I couldn't tell what it was, but it made my heart clench painfully. "Um, I had a feeling, well…Clint said you all may have to come here. So, I, I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed you some clothes. Just in case."

"Thank you," he says, a relaxed smile falling on his face. "I really, really appreciate that."

oOoOo

"Dr. Litz," Lila says, stabbing at her macaroni and cheese instead of eating it.

"Yes Lila?" I say, pushing around my own food. I was eating with the kids and Laura in the living room while the team was talking about Ultron in the kitchen.

"Mommy said that you hit your head and that's why you don't remember-"

"Lila," Laura chastises her daughter, who quickly shoves a mouthful of mac and cheese in her mouth. "I'm sorry about that Charlotte," she says, looking at me. "She asked me earlier why you-"

"It's okay," I say. I honestly didn't mind. Lila was so cute she could get away with it.

"Dad said it's called amnesia, right?" Cooper chimes in.

I pause chewing my food and look at him. He must be sneaky like his dad. "Yes," I say once I swallow my bite. I glance over at Laura, who's visibly embarrassed. "But my memories are coming back. Slowly, but surely."

"What if they never come back?" he asks.

"Cooper!" Laura scolds her son.

I shake my head, staring down at my food. "I don't know Cooper," I say. "I guess I'll have to wait and see."

oOoOo

A light knocking on my door breaks me out of my trance of writing. I quietly call for the knocker to come in. "Oh hey," I say to Steve as he pokes his in the door. "Finally calling it a night?"

"Yeah," he says with a sigh, leaning against the door frame. "Um, Laura said that we were doubling up on rooms and that we were…sharing. I just…I just wanted to make sure that it was okay with you. Because if it's not, I can sleep-"

"No, it's fine," I say, waving a hand for him to come in. He finally walks in the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. His boots fall almost quietly on the hardwood as he walks the short distance to the bed and sits on the edge of it, a little bit away from me.

I shut my journal and sit it on the table beside the bed. "You keep a journal?" Steve asks.

I nod my head. "Dr. Cho suggested it," I say. "Said it might help. Or, if for some reason I lose all my memories again, I'll have a record this time."

We both let out a laugh. Once we stop laughing, Steve looks at me. "Are you sure it's okay if we share a room," he says again. "I can sleep on the floor-"

"Steve," I say, reaching forward. I rest a hand on his arm as he looks at me. "I told Laura I was okay with it, because I am okay with it. I am okay with sharing a room with my boyfriend."

"Your…"I knew the term would throw him for a loop. I had used it on purpose. "What did you just call me?"

"Well," I say, suddenly feeling shy. I look down at my nails, pushing back a cuticle. "We…we never officially broke up or anything, so…"

"Oh," he says. Instead of looking at me he looks down at his hands folded in his lap. A heavy silence falls over the both of us. Maybe he didn't think of us that way anymore. Maybe I had been wrong in my judgement.

"But, I mean," I say, now feeling very uncomfortable. I wrap my arms around my middle, tightly, almost painfully. "If you'd be more comfortable on the floor, then-"

"You used to fall asleep while we watched television…all the time," he says, cutting me off. Steve still wasn't looking at me. His voice was controlled, like he was choosing his words carefully. "If it got to be past eleven…there was no guarantee you'd stay awake during the whole thing." A smile fleetingly crosses his face as he continues to stare at his hands. He finally turns his head and looks at me. "Having you fall asleep in my arms like that or anytime you fell asleep in my arms…was the most comforting feeling. And right now…what we're up against…I could definitely use some comfort."

I don't say anything…there wasn't much to say, he had said it all. Instead, I nod my head and then push back the blankets on the bed as he stands up from the bed and walks over to the bag sitting at the end of the bed. I try not to watch him as he pulls off his shirt. I do, however, glance up in time to see him grab a pair of sleep pants and walk over to the partition in the corner of the room. After a moment, he walks back out, his legs now clad in plaid sleep pants. Once he has a tank top on, I switch off the lamp by the bed, submerging the room in darkness. I feel, more than see, Steve slide into the bed next to me. He seems to be leaving some space between us. My body moves of its own accord, call it muscle memory, and closes the space between us. With his chest pressed against my back and his strong arms wrapped around me, I felt more at home than I had in a long time. The night envelopes us, starting to pull us both off to sleep. "Steve?" I whisper in the dark. I was feeling some sort of courage at the moment, so I wanted to say the thing that had been wracking my brain all week. He hums his acknowledgement, his breath tickling the back of my neck. "I think I'm falling in love with you again."

Steve doesn't say anything, just somehow pulls me tighter to him.

oOoOo

I stand out on the porch, staring up at the sky. It was a light grey color, but the sun trying to come up was casting purples and blues through the grey. Fury comes out of the house first. He stops on the top step before turning his head slightly to look at me. "Banner tells me your memories are starting to come back?" he says.

Leaning down, I rest my elbow on the railing of the porch, resting my chin in my hand, still staring up at the sky. "I was fifteen," I say. "When you gave me my first job at S.H.I.E.L.D. Weekend work, sorting old files. Never realized what that weekend job would become…where it would lead me." He doesn't say anything, but I hear his weight shift on the creaking porch.

"An old friend," he says quietly, now standing beside me. "Told me to tell you greetings…from Tahiti."

I vaguely knew what he was talking about, but I nod my head anyways. Fury claps me on the shoulder a couple times before turning and walking off the porch. Tony, Bruce, and then Natasha file out of the house. "Hey, Nat, wait a second," I say. She stops her descent down the stairs and turns to look at me. "Fact or fiction time."

"What was it this time?" she says. I walk over to her, meeting her halfway as she starts walking towards me.

When we're both face to face with each other, I lean in a little towards her, placing my hands on my hips. "Did you kiss my boyfriend?"

Natasha doesn't say anything. Instead, she purses her lips and narrows her eyes at me. "Fact." She says. "See you soon."

She walks away before I can say anything about it. I honestly didn't care. The memory of Steve telling me about it came back to me. I had actually found it humorous at the time, but now I was just wondering about it. I'm broken out of my thoughts by the feel of someone's hand on the small of my back. Turning my head, I see Steve standing behind me. I turn my body so that I'm facing him, bringing my hands up to rest them on his shoulders. "That offer of a vacation still stand?" I say. "Cause I think I want to cash in on that now."

Steve gives me a sad smile as he reaches up with a hand, cupping the side of my face. "Are you going to stay here?" he asks. I nod my head, letting out a sigh. "Good."

"Be careful," I say, pleading in my voice. "Please." He nods his once, running his thumb over my cheek. We stare at each other for a moment, until Steve drops his hand and starts for the stairs. I watch him, until that dang auto-pilot kicks in again. "Steve!" I say after him. He stops, halfway down the stairs and turns back to look at me. I walk over to him, stopping on the top step, somewhat leveling out our heights. In one movement, I grab both sides of his face between my hands and plant a deep kiss on his lips. Technically, I guess you could say this was my first kiss since I had no memory of ever kissing anyone…ever. So, as far as first kisses go…this one was good, amazing, earth shattering, and whatever other cliché adjective I could come up with. We finally break apart and I rest my forehead against his. "Just a reminder," I say, breathing a little hard. "Of that vacation."

"Yes ma'am," he says, a smile breaking across his face. His chin comes up a little, reconnecting our lips briefly before he turns and walks away.

I stand there and watch him walk away, barely noticing Clint walk past me. Laura comes to stand beside me, both of us watching the guys walk towards the jet. After a few minutes, it rises into the air, turns away from the house and then flies off, disappearing into the sky. Laura lets out a loud sigh. "This is the worst part."

"Yeah," I say, wrapping my arms around my waist. "I can- argh!" I sharp pain rips through my head. As I double over, I feel Laura's hands on my shoulder and back.

"Charlotte," she says, her voice sounding frantic. "Are you okay?" The pain subsides as quickly as it had come and I'm able to stand up straight. "Are you okay? Should I call them to come back-"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I'm fine. I, um-"

"What happened?" she says, not totally convinced I was fine.

A smiles breaks across my face as I look at her. "My memories…they're back."


	6. Chapter 6

"Back?" Fury's voice says through the phone. "What do you mean 'back'?"

"I mean like 'I once again have my super-duper memory and remember everything' back," I say, pacing around the bedroom at Clint's house.

"Well what changed?" he says. "How'd you get them back?"

A smile creeps onto my lips. "I really don't think you want to know, sir."

"At any rate, I'm glad they're back," Fury says.

"Me too," I say. "So, what can I do to help?"

"Help? What do you mean-"

"You know exactly what I mean," I say. "With the Avengers, with Ultron…what can I do?"

I hear Fury let out a sigh. "I really miss the days when you preferred to stay in your archives."

"Well, nothing to do about that now," I say, already starting to pack my bag. I knew he would use my help. "Tell me what I can do."

oOoOo

"There's worse ways to go," Natasha's voice says through the comms. We had finally picked up the Avengers frequency, with Maria's help. They had no idea we were here yet though. "Where else am I gonna get a view like this?"

"Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get a whole lot better." Fury's voice sounds in my ear. "Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with some old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do."

The cargo area, where I was in the Helicarrier, was buzzing with activity. Crew members were putting the finishing touches on the flying lifeboats that were being sent to the city. "Fury, you son of a bitch," Steve's voice says in my ear.

"Ooooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Fury says, mocking Steve.

"He sure won't kiss me with that mouth," I add. As I expected, a split second later, I hear Steve let out a groan. He wasn't happy I was there. I step onto one of the lifeboats and a few minutes later we're airborne. It only takes half a minute for us to reach the side of the floating city. The boat I was on, lands right in front of where Steve and Natasha were leading civilians to. "Hi, honey," I say to Steve as we both start ushering the civilians onto the lifeboat.

"Charlotte," he says in a chastising tone. We both run further into the city to get more civilians. "What are you-"

"You promised me a vacation," I say. "I'm here to make sure you live up to that promise." He just shakes his head at me as we usher more civilians to the lifeboat. Once we reach the lifeboat and the civilians are on, I turn to him and give him a smile. "Oh, and by the way, my memory is back."

"Wha-"

"Did Litz just say her memory is back?" Natasha's voice says over comms.

"Oh, great," Tony chimes in. "Back to the old Litz that hates me." There's some back and forth talk between Tony and Thor, but I barely listen as I send one boat off and start helping load up another. "Avengers, time to work for a living."

Steve and I simultaneously turn our heads to look at each other. "Go," I say, momentarily looking away from him to usher more people onto the boat. "You go save the world, I got this part."

He nods his head once at me before running off towards the center of the city. From the center, I hear the unmistakable sound of battle. I try to ignore it, ignore the fact that Steve was in the middle of it. Instead, I focus on getting the civilians on the lifeboats. After a while, it seems all the citizens are on the boats and I don't hear the sounds of fighting from the center of the city. I stand on the ramp for the lifeboat, waiting for the non-flying Avengers. I can feel the air getting thin, making my breathing come quick. When I see Steve heading towards the boat, I meet him half-way at a broken down monument. "Everyone on?" he asks. I nod my head, my chest giving away my lack of oxygen. "Slow, deep breaths. It'll help."

"Thanks," I say, giving him a half smile. As we stand there, sweeping the area for any signs of anymore civilians, I see Clint and Natasha drive up in a sports car next to the life boat. Clint heads onto the boat, while Natasha heads towards the Hulk. "Maybe we should avoid any high altitude places for our vacation. Which means Gatlinburg is out- where's he going?" We both watch as Clint jogs off the boat, heading past us and towards a row of buildings.

"Is this the last of them?" Thor asks as he comes up to us.

"Yeah," Steve answers him. I'm still watching Clint as he jogs into the city. "Everyone else is on the carriers."

In the distance, I see Clint pull a boy out of a store front. As he starts to head back towards us with the boy in his arms, gunfire suddenly starts to rain down from the sky and it's heading right towards us. Dirt and debris surround us as I feel both Thor and Steve cover me, shielding me from the gunfire. Once the dirt settles and gunfire is past us, I expect to see the worst. But Thor and Steve seems to be unharmed, the gunfire having gone right around us. "You okay?" Steve asks me. I nod my head as my attention turns to where Clint and the little boy had been. I expect to see them both lying on the ground, dead. Instead, a blonde haired guy dressed in blue, Pietro Maximoff, is standing where Clint had been, blood stains starting to spread over his shirt. Steve and I both run over to Clint as Thor flies away. Clint seems to be unharmed, along with the boy, Pietro having taken all of the gunfire. No one says anything. Me and Steve bend down to pick up Pietro. Steve could probably carry him by himself, but I feel compelled to help. Once we have him on the boat, I leave the boat again to help the last wave of citizens on to the boat. I wait on the ramp, making sure there was no one else. Steve stands a few feet from the ramp, looking around as well. My eyebrows scrunch together as the ground below the ramp seems to lurch. Then, the city starts to fall. It happens so quickly; I don't even register Steve isn't on the lifeboat until he jumps back on it from the falling city. I help him climb fully back onto the boat. Fully on the boat, we both stand up, Steve holding onto me so that the wind doesn't knock me over. Looking down at the city, we watch it crumble as it falls. Tony and Thor both fly away from the crumbling city and land on the carrier away from us. Everyone was safe.

oOoOo

"So you remember…everything?" Natasha says. We were all back at Avengers Tower, except Clint who had went home to his family and Bruce who was…well no one knew where he was.

"Yup," I say, sitting down on a couch across from her.

"All because you locked lips with Rogers?"

I roll my eyes at her, despite my cheeks turning red. "Anything can trigger a return of memories," I say.

"But all that time," she says. "All those months…all you had to do was-"

"This is not a conversation we are going to have," I say, standing up again. "Because we'll never know-"

"I told you _multiple_ times to go talk to him!" she yells after me. "And all you had to do was make out-"

I wave a hand in the air, dismissing her comments as I leave the room. Taking a short ride in the elevator to the level above, I find Steve in the training room, beating on a punching bag. I watch him for a few minutes, relishing in the fact he hadn't realized I was there yet. He finally stops to take a breather, so I step into the room farther. "I don't take you as an amusement ride sort of guy…so Disney is out of the question," I say. Steve's head snaps up as he watches me walk towards him. "I'm not one for gambling…so no Vegas. I think Tony may have a house somewhere on some beach, I'm sure he'd let us use it…" He continues to look at me as I come to a stop in front of him. He had that smile on his face he got when he was listening to me ramble. Letting out a sigh, I cross my arms over my chest. "We're not going on a vacation…are we?"

Steve doesn't really answer me, just shakes his head as he picks at a loose thread on the tape on his hand. "Ultron said something to me, when we confronted him about getting the vibranium," My eyebrows push together as I tilt my head to the side. "'God's righteous man, pretending you can live without a war.'"

"You know Ultron wasn't-"

"He was right though," Steve says. My mouth snaps shut. "This…what I am now…Charlotte, I was built to fight. I've been fighting my whole life. Sickness, bullies, you name it. I was enhanced to fight. It's all I know."

"This isn't you trying to break up with me, is it?" I let out a chuckle, but I was halfway serious.

"No," he says, shaking his head and looking away from me. He takes a deep breath and lets it out quickly. "But I am offering you an out. I'm never going to be that guy making repairs on a farm house, that guy went down in the ice seventy-five years ago-"

"Well, I decline your offer," I say, cutting him off. His argument was invalid to me. I knew all of this already. He wasn't running me off. "I know all of this Steve. I grew up thinking I was going to be in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s protective bubble all my life. I never expected to have any of that and frankly, I grew to not want it. It's not me. So I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you."

Steve smiles at me before leaning down pressing his lips to mine. My arms wind themselves around his neck. "Well, I'm glad you're not leaving," Tony's voice breaks us out of our little bubble. I let out a sigh as my heels touch the ground again, but my arms remain around Steve's neck. We both look at him, I'm sure wearing exasperated glares.

"And why would that be?" I ask.

"Because," Tony says, walking farther into the room. "I have a job offer for you-"

"Oh no way," I say, turning towards him. Steve mimics my movement, crossing his arms over his chest. "I am not working for you. I'm not going to be your assistant or whatever it is that you're-"

"Not my assistant, no. You'd probably poison my coffee or something," Tony says. "I actually want to offer you a spot as an Avenger-"

"What?"

"No way Stark," me and Steve speak at the same time as Tony rolls his eyes at us.

"You two jump to conclusions way too quickly," he says, waving a hand at us. "I don't mean for Sourpuss, I'm calling you that again by the way because I don't know if you unlike me again, to pick up a gun and fight alongside us. I mean for her to join us at the new facility."

"Doing what?" I arch an eyebrow at him, mildly intrigued. I had seen the plans for the new Avenger's facility and had wondered what I was going to do when the team moved there.

"Hill actually had the idea," Tony says, delaying his answer. "The new recruits, any new members we pick up…they're going to need additional training and education in what has happened-"

"So you basically want me to tutor the new Avengers?" I say. My face remains passive, but the idea really excited me.

"Basically, yeah," Tony says. "Cap, what do you think?"

Tony and I both turn to Steve, who also has a neutral look on his face. He looks at Tony for a second longer before turning to look at me. I could see it in his eyes he liked the idea too. "I think it's an excellent idea." He says. "Being a good soldier isn't just about how well you can fight. You got to know what you're fighting for."

"And where you're coming from," I say, nodding my head in agreement. I let a smile slip onto my face as I turn back to Tony. "Yeah, I'll do it." Tony nods his head as he turns for the door. "And Tony," the billionaire stops at the doorway as he spins on his toes to look at me. "I haven't decided whether I like you or not."

Tony gives me a half smile as he nods his head, walking out of the room. Once I no longer hear his footsteps, a huge smile breaks across my face. I turn back towards Steve, who's also wearing a smile. With a jubilant laugh, I step back into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck once again and bury my face in his neck.

oOoOo

"So no luck?" I say into the phone.

Steve lets out a sigh into the phone. "No luck," he says. "Another dead end."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," I say. Steve was currently out chasing a lead on Bucky with Sam.

"I should be used to it now," he says, sadness tinging his voice. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just doing a little retail therapy," I say.

"You do not need any more books," Steve says, his voice playfully stern.

"That is blasphemy," I say with a laugh. "You can never have too many books. Besides, I just about have Tony talked into building me a nice sized library and archives at this new facility. I need to stock up."

I can practically hear the smile in Steve's voice. "I still say you have too many books."

"And I say for that comment that you can do your own laundry when you get home," he knew I was just teasing him. "So hurry home, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he says.

We tell each other goodbye before I slide my phone into my dress pocket. "Steve Rogers doing his own laundry…now that is a sight I'd like to see," the voice behind me freezes me in my tracks. I slowly turn around and see that I'm face to face with Phil Coulson. "Dr. Litz."

"Phil," I say, returning his greeting. My eyes instinctively dart around us, but we were in a dark aisle, surrounding only by books. "Not to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"

"I'm on a time crunch so I'm not going to beat around the bush," he says. "I need your help."

"My help?"

"One of my guys is missing," he says, his tone totally professional. "I need your expertise."

"I'm not a tracker-"

"This isn't a normal case," he says. "We know where she is, but we don't know where she is. I'm exhausting all my options. I need your memory and your research skills."

"Phil," I say. "I can't just leave. What am I supposed to tell Steve? Or the rest of the team? They don't know you or S.H.I.E.L.D. is still alive-"

"I know, Charlotte," he says. "As I said, I'm on a time crunch and I'm desperate." I shake my head, opening and shutting my mouth. I wanted to help him, Phil and I were always good friends, both being history nerds. But, I couldn't just leave Steve with no explanation. Especially now, when we were finally reaching that light at the end of the tunnel. "Take the day to think about it." Phil says suddenly. "I'm leaving the city tonight at 1900. If you're willing to help, meet me at this address. If not, I'll find someone else to help."

Phil hands me a folded piece of paper and walks away without another word. _What the hell was I going to do?_


	7. Chapter 7

When I arrived back at Avenger's Tower, Steve and Sam were unloading a quinjet. "What are you doing back?" I say, walking up to him. I hadn't expected to see him back just yet.

"You sound shocked to see me," he says, giving me a grin.

"I am," I say, momentarily pausing to go up and kiss him on the cheek. "Happy to see you…yes, but still shocked. Didn't think you'd get back until tonight. Not that I'm not happy to see you, I just-"

"Okay, stop," Steve says, placing his hands on the top of my shoulders. I stop my tirade, chewing on my bottom lip. "You are rambling. You ramble when you are nervous. Now, what are you nervous about?"

"I just," I let out a sigh, shaking my head. "I need to talk to you about something. But I can't tell you anything about it."

Steve lets out a sigh now, giving me his "Captain Stare". "Come on," he says. "Let's go talk."

oOoOo

"So my friend shows up at the bookstore…right after I got off the phone with you…and asks for my help," I say, pacing across the floor. Steve sits patiently on the edge of the bed, watching me and listening. "And I want to help him…I do, I really do. But…"

"But what?"

"But…" I say, musing for the right phrasing. "But you."

Steve's face goes deadpan as he continues to look at me. "Me?"

"Yes you," I say. "I want to go and help my friend. But I can't tell you where I'm going, who I'm helping…anything. I can't tell you anything. And I know you…you will want to know everything because you are protective of me, which is understandable. Do you see my dilemma?"

Steve continues to stare at me with the "Captain Stare" until a corner of his mouth quirks up. "Yeah, I see your dilemma."

The smile on his face continues to spread. "This is not funny," I say, trying to quell my own smile. "Steven Grant Rogers, you better not be laughing at m-"

"I'm only laughing at you a little," he says, still smiling at me. "But listen, Charlotte. Your mind is clearly already made up about this."

"Yeah, but…" I say, starting to pace again. " _You!"_ Steve's face sobers up as I go into another pacing rant. "I just don't want to upset you because…well you're you and I love you. I just…"

"Charlotte," Steve says, standing up in front of me. "Go help your friend. You clearly trust whoever this is, so I'm going to trust you on this-"

"But Steve-"

"Are you trying to talk me out of giving you my blessing to go?" Steve raises an eyebrow as he looks down at me. I stare at him before slowly shaking my head. "That's what I thought. Am I entirely happy about you going? No, I'm not. But-"

"Then Steve-"

"Charlotte, stop interrupting me," The "Captain Stare" was out again. "I am telling you to go. I'm not entirely happy about it because yes, I want to keep you safe. Especially since I just got you back," Steve's hand comes up and cups the side of my face. "But as I said, your mind is made up already. So, go."

I shut my eyes as I place my hand over his. "Why does doing the right thing have to be so hard?" I say, my voice revealing the lump that was forming in my throat.

Steve doesn't say anything right away, instead, he moves his hand and pulls me against his chest. "Now you know how I feel every time I leave."

oOoOo

I stand outside of the building that matched the address Phil had given me. It looked like an old run-down factory. It was in the heart of Brooklyn, so at least I was familiar with the area. Per Phil's instructions, I open the door and walk in. Inside the door, it still looks like a run-down factory, maybe the old front office. No one was around and the lights were off. "Hello?" I call out. At first, no one answers. After about five minutes, a door off to my left opens and Phil strolls in.

"Dr. Litz," he says, seeming surprised to see me. "Glad to see you."

"Surprised I'm even here," I say.

"Getting away from the Tower easier than you thought?" he asks as he motions for me to follow him through the door he had come through.

"It was," I say. "Well, on Steve's part anyways. Tony wanted to laden me down with trackers. Almost succeeded too, but I found it soon enough to throw it out of the taxi window."

"Good," he says. "I didn't know if Rogers would give you a hard time about coming or not."

"I figured he would too," I say, my eyebrows scrunching together. "But, he said he trusted me. So, here I am."

"At any rate, I'm glad you're coming to help," Phil says.

We pause for a moment at a door as Phil opens it. Walking in, I see it's a large aircraft hangar. "I'm happy to help," I say. "So, who did you lose?"

"Jemma Simmons," he says.

"What?" I say in disbelief. "I really liked her. She gave me a cool nickname."

Phil and I pause at the ramp leading up into the jet. Someone grabs my bag from me before we start onto the plane. "Well, then help me get her back."

oOoOo

"And he won't be able to trace this?" I ask Skye- er, Daisy.

"Not a chance," she says.

"Not even with all of Stark's super spy stuff?" I ask.

Daisy lets out a laugh as she shakes her head again. "No, not even with Stark's super spy stuff." She says.

"Okay, good, thanks," I tell her. She nods her head at me once before walking out of the room. Daisy had graciously set me up to video call Steve. He didn't know I was calling him, so hopefully I would get any answer. I hit send on the call and a minute later, Natasha answers the call. "Romanov, don't even try and trace the call."

"Litz," she says, shocked to see me. "What the hell are you calling-"

"Oh just to see your pretty-"

"Now Litz, you know I don't swing that-"

"Oh shut up and just get Steve for me," I finally say. She smirks at me and nods her head before disappearing from the screen. I had been gone almost a month and hadn't been able to contact Steve in anyway. Phil was afraid that Tony would try to track down where I was, ultimately revealing that S.H.I.E.L.D. existed and that Phil was alive. I start bouncing in my seat waiting for Steve. Finally, his face appears on the screen.

"Charlotte?" he says, relief in his voice. A huge smile graced his face, earning one from me as well.

"Hey," I say quietly. "Miss me?"

"That's an understatement," he says. "I'm guessing you can't tell me where you are?"

I shake my head. "No," I say. "But I'm safe. Tired, but safe."

"Good," he says. "That's good enough for me. Any progress in finding your friend?"

"Nope," I say. "What about you?"

Steve shakes his head. "Close, but nothing." We stare at each other for a minute. I didn't really know what to say to him. I had wanted to talk to him, to see him, but now that I was and could, I had no clue what to say to him. I couldn't talk about what I was doing. I was at a loss as what to say. "I wish you'd come home." Okay, that'll stir up some conversation.

"I can't Steve," I say. "I have to help-" I stop myself, letting out a sigh. "I can't leave." Steve doesn't say anything, just hangs his head. "Steve, please, don't act like this."

"Act like what?" he snaps at me. "Like I'm upset you're away somewhere and won't tell me where?"

"You told me that you trusted me," I say. My heart was breaking that he was acting like this. He had told me he trusted me to go.

"I do trust you," he says. "It's others that I don't trust. I just got you back from-"

"This is totally different Steve," I attempt to keep my voice under control, but Steve was upsetting me. "These people-"

"I don't know them," Steve cuts me off, the "Captain Stare" set on his face. "They could be anybody. They could be-"

"They are not HYDRA or Ultron or Loki or whoever else your mind is coming up with," I spit at him. "They are my friends and I trust-"

"Just like Lana was?"

The silence falls between us. Tears start to fall from my eyes as Steve and I stare at each other. I can see on his face that he regretted the dig at me, but it was said. There was no going back. "I think…" I say, my voice wavering. "I think this conversation is over."

"Charlotte, I didn't mean-"

"I'll, um," I look down at my hands, away from the screen. "I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'll try to let Natasha know ahead of time."

"Charlotte, please-"

My finger hovers over the escape key as my eyes finally float back up and lock with Steve's. "Goodbye Steve."

As the screen goes black, I lean back in my chair, sobbing into my hands.


End file.
